17 Nov 2021 by Saima Latif, Ph.D.

Scientifically reviewed by Tiffany Sauber Millacci, Ph.D.

Positive intelligence has become a popular term in the executive coaching world.

It is the new ‘intelligence’ of this decade, just as emotional intelligence was in the last decade and cognitive intelligence was in the decade before that.

Positive intelligence indicates how your mind acts in your best interest, and the good news is that it is a skill you can build.

In this article, you will learn about the positive intelligence quotient, its application to coaching, saboteurs, and how to stay positive as a coach. We also share great exercises and books toward the end of this article and hope you will feel very inspired to use this material in your sessions.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Emotional Intelligence Exercises for free. These science-based exercises will not only enhance your ability to understand and work with your emotions, but also give you the tools to foster the positive intelligence of your clients, students, or employees.

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What Is the Positive Intelligence Quotient?

The positive intelligence quotient (PQ) is used as a measure of mental fitness. It is the percentage of time the mind is being positive, allowing it to flourish — a big factor in allowing you to reach your full potential.

PQ measures the strength of an individual’s positive mental muscles (sometimes called their “sage”) versus their negative ( the “saboteur”). The self-command muscle is the ability an individual has to boost their sage and dampen down their saboteur (Chamine, 2012). You will learn more about how to boost this muscle with exercises later on in this article.

Think of physical fitness in terms of enduring physical activity, with little effort or negative impact involved. If you are not physically fit, you will experience physical stress with minimal physical activity.

The analogy can also be applied for mental fitness. If you are not mentally fit, you may experience mental stress. This can come in the form of depression, anxiety, frustration, and anger (Chamine, 2012). It will inevitably impact education, work, family, relationships, social interactions, and recreation.

Chamine (2012) describes saboteurs as being habitual mind patterns, reacting to challenges and generating negative emotions. You flounder rather than flourish. You may experience stress, disappointment, regret, anger, guilt, shame, and worry. The antagonist to the saboteurs is the sage.

This aspect of your mental fitness manages challenges through positive emotions. These may be empathy, gratitude, creativity, curiosity, self-confidence, clarity, and action.

Is positive intelligence science-based?

Shirzad Chamine (2012) is best known for his development of the theory of positive intelligence. He argues that positive intelligence is based on research from performance science, neuroscience, and cognitive and positive psychology. He describes the research as independently validating positive intelligence.

Chamine and Katayama (2012) state that there are different parts of the brain that control the saboteurs and the sage. The survival part of the brain controls physical and emotional functioning and influences the saboteurs, while the sage is controlled by the PQ brain and consists of the middle prefrontal cortex, the right brain, and the empathy circuit. The PQ brain releases endorphins that counteract the stress-related saboteur hormones.

In an analysis of over 200 different scientific studies, the overall conclusion was that higher levels of PQ lead to greater success in work, marriage, health, friendships, and social and creative domains (Chamine, 2012).

Chamine examined research by Gottman and Silver (2015), who have produced many positive observations around marriage. Also, Fredrickson and Losada (2005) found that university students who made more positive than negative statements had improved mental health.10 Types of Internal Saboteurs

Chamine (2012) states that both saboteurs and sages reside in different parts of the brain.

The good news is that saboteurs are not static or fixed for life. They can be changed and weakened, boosting the sage. Exercises described later on in this article can make this happen.

Not everyone is affected by all 10 of the saboteurs at the same time and in the same way. Different people are affected by different types of saboteurs. The judge is the universal master for all people and a common saboteur that afflicts all individuals.

There are 10 internal saboteurs:

1. Judge

Often described as the universal saboteur, the judge will beat you up over repeated mistakes. It obsessively warns you about future risks. It causes you to worry and become easily obsessed and fixated on negativity. The judge is an enemy. It can go on to trigger other saboteurs and cause unnecessary stress, ultimately reducing your overall effectiveness.

2. Victim

The victim does not feel accepted. It tries to attract affection through attention. It focuses on painful, internal feelings and when criticized, it tends to withdraw. The victim receives attention through its emotional problems, poor temperament, or sullen behavior. The victim feels alone, isolated, sad, and abandoned. It feels frustrated, helpless, and guilty.

3. Pleaser

The pleaser tries to gain acceptance and affection by helping others. This meets its emotional needs. It pleases, flatters, and rescues. The pleaser loses sight of its own needs and can become resentful.

It has a strong need to be liked by others, which it does so indirectly so that others feel obliged to reciprocate care. The pleaser is bothered when others do not care what it has done.

4. Restless

The restless saboteur looks for excitement from many activities. It is easily distracted and bounces back from unpleasant feelings and seeks new stimulation.

Attention is constantly shifted and impatience is constant. It avoids a real and lasting focus on any issues or relationships. Restless saboteurs provide a substitute for self-nurture and an escape from anxiety and pain.

5. Hyper-vigilant

The hyper-vigilant saboteur shows continuous fear and anxiety about danger. It worries about things that may go wrong. It is self-doubting about itself and others all the time.

The hyper-vigilant saboteur is always suspicious of what others may be up to. It seeks reassurance and guidance through rules, procedures, and authorities. The hyper-vigilant saboteur often feels skeptical and cynical. It perceives that life is full of danger.

Types of Internal Saboteurs

6. Hyper-achiever

The hyper-achiever seeks self-respect and validation from constant performance. This can lead to a goal-oriented and workaholic streak and losing touch with relationships and emotional needs. It adapts its personality to impress other people. It wants to perfect the outer rather than the inner self.

The overall need is to feel successful, as this creates a feeling of worthiness. Happiness is achieved through achievements. It is unable to connect on a deeper level with others.

7. Hyper-rational

This saboteur focuses on processing everything rationally. High concentration can cause a loss of focus. Insight, knowledge, and understanding is valued most. It analyzes rather than experiences feelings.

The hyper-rational saboteur has a good survival strategy. It escapes into an orderly, rational mind, generating security and intellectual superiority. Attention and praise are gained from being the most clever person.

8. Controller

This saboteur has an anxiety-based urge to take charge. It wants to be in control of situations and people’s actions. It is a strong talker, willful and confrontational. The controller pushes others beyond their comfort zone. The controller can be stimulating and intimidating.

Communication can be expressed in an angry and critical way. When it feels hurt or rejected, it will not admit to this. The controller gets results, but these are temporary and at the cost of others feeling controlled and resentful.

9. Stickler

The stickler is a perfectionist and has a need to keep things in order and organized. It can be highly critical of itself and others. The stickler strongly requires self-control. It has high standards and needs to be methodical.

There is constant frustration with itself and others. The stickler is sarcastic and self-righteous. There is inflexibility to deal with change and the different styles of others. Other people are left feeling resentful, anxious, and full of self-doubt.

10. Avoider

The avoider focuses on the pleasant and positive and avoids the difficult and unpleasant. It has difficulty saying no, resists others, prefers comfort and routine, and procrastinates when tasks are not pleasant.

The avoider will suppress anger and resentment, rather than express these emotions. It denies conflict and negative relationships, and trust from others can be superficial as there is conflict-avoidance and others’ trust levels are reduced.

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MAR. 9, 2022

Don’t be angry, it can be self-destructive Extract and summary from psychologytoday.com, for more reading see link click here This has been extracted from psychologytoday.com, for more see the link Do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure rocket when your child refuses to cooperate? If so, you are not alone. Everyone experiences anger from time to time. Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion. But it’s important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on your health and relationships.

Here are some of the tips:

1. Think before you speak

If you’re often feeling angry, or if those feelings are causing problems at home or at work, here are 7 tips to help you regain control: One of the best tactics is to take a pause before reacting. If your heart is pounding and you feel like yelling at your friend, family member or the guy who just pulled in front of you in traffic, stop. Take a breath. Count to 10. Do whatever it takes to avoid lashing out and saying or doing something you’ll regret.

2. Once you’re calm, state what upset you

Express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. Maybe your spouse didn’t help clean up the kitchen after you made dinner. Or your son borrowed your car and returned it with a nearly empty gas tank — again. State your concerns clearly and directly, using an “I” statement. For example, say, “I’m upset that you left me without enough gas to get to work,” or “I resent it when I work to prepare a meal and you don’t help clean up afterward.”

3. Use humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though, as it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

4. Take a timeout

Timeouts aren’t just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what’s ahead without getting irritated or angry.

5. Get exercise

Physical activity can help reduce the stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.

6. Practice relaxation skills

Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as “Take it easy.” Yoga and meditation also are good tools to use to help you stay calm. When you’re taking care of yourself, it’s easier to deal with the challenges life throws your way.

7. Don’t hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.

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Every time I think my anxiety is gone for good, it comes back worse than before. Can you help me?”

From time to time I get an email asking for advice on how to make anxiety go away. For some reason, I’m reminded of a rude houseguest or a family member that lingers and looms. Perhaps the connection isn’t completely off base.

For the most part, anxiety is a condition that comes and goes. But for some, anxiety never goes away completely. That’s the bad news. The good news is you can manage the symptoms so they don’t manage you. If it’s helpful, consider your anxiety as a chronic condition that needs constant monitoring. Miss a day of treatment and you may throw your system off. Having a plan means your daily to-do list includes anti-anxiety strategies.

Because anxiety can occur at three levels—brain, behavior and subjective experience—it makes sense to tackle numerous fronts.

Here are nine things you can do on any given day to get on the right side of calm.

I. Outsmart Your Brooding Ways

1. Fire the “What-ifs Committee” inside your brain. One of the most difficult tasks is talking yourself out focusing on the danger that (you think) threatens you. In reality, it is not menacing and may not even exist. Anxiety is not actually fear, because fear is based on something right in front of you, a real and objective danger. Becoming aware of defaulting to worst-case scenarios will help you avoid being trapped in an endless loop of what-ifs.

2. Control your inner dialogue. Check your vocabulary for unhealthy words such as hate, stupid, always, never, ugly, unlovable, defective, and broken. Replace black-or-white language with more neutral terms.

3. Fall in love with the Cognitive-Behavioral Triangle. Anxious people often feel “attacked” by their feelings. In reality, feelings come after a thought. Being aware of your thought process is crucial, especially because some thoughts are core beliefs, or internalized scripts that are ingrained and automatic. If you struggle with overreacting in the heat of the moment, it’s likely because unhealthy feelings lead to the same ol’ unhealthy behaviors. Remember the following diagram:

Thoughts —> Feelings —> Behaviors

For extra support about rewiring your thoughts, check out this in-depth article.

II. Behavioral Strategies

1. Meditate to promote mindfulness. Your mind simply cannot become calm, confident and clear, if you do not pay attention to paying attention:

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This short video offers beginner tips on meditation.

2. Be where you are. One of my favorite anxiety hacks is giving 100% of my attention to the task at hand. For example, if I’m helping my son with his homework, I put everything else aside and focus my attention on quizzing him on vocabulary words. I don’t try and cook dinner or check email during this time because multi-tasking is bad for us. According to a recent time.com article:

“Every time you switch your focus from one thing to another, there’s something called a switch-cost,” says Dr. Earl Miller, a professor of neuroscience at Massachusetts Institute of Technology. “Your brain stumbles a bit, and it requires time to get back to where it was before it was distracted.

One recent study found it can take your brain 15 to 25 minutes to get back to where it was after stopping to check an email.”

3. Work faster. I know, this seems downright counterintuitive to all the anxiety advice about slowing down and paying attention. But working more quickly and efficiently saves time because trusting your skills and talents means you don’t get sucked into the perfectionist trap.

III. Healthy Lifestyle Habits

1. Breathe. Slow and deep breathing is the cornerstone of calm. Start by breathing in and out slowly. After a few seconds practice the 4-4-4: Inhale for a count of four, hold for a count of four, then exhale for a count of four. Let the breath flow in and out effortlessly. Repeat four times.

2. Drink more water. Dehydration may affect anxiety in a variety of ways.

3. Make sleep a priority. Our culture celebrates those who work hard and play hard, but there’s a price. If you’re irritable, sluggish, and drained, chances are you’re sleep-deprived.

The National Sleep Foundation (NSF), along with a multi-disciplinary expert panel, issued its new recommendations for appropriate sleep duration. Here are the adult recommendations

In short, seeing your own worry list as a problem to be solved each and every day means minimizing unnecessary anxiety. Best of all, you’re harnessing your excess energy to get things done.

derived from psychology today https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/anxiety-zen/201505/what-do-when-your-anxiety-won-t-go-away

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Try not to be too anxious about anything

Being calm will help you resolve things better Extract and summarised from psychologytoday.com, for more reading see link https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/anxiety Small, simple actions can make a big difference to our well-being when we do them consistently. Find greater peace each day with these five practices.

Here are some of the tips:

1. Tell Yourself Good Morning

Most mornings our minds are off and running before our bodies have even left the bed. This habitual disconnection from ourselves creates a background buzz of unease, which often persists the entire day. Conversely, coming back to ourselves is inherently calming. Before you get out of bed in the morning, tune in to your body and breath. Take three slow breaths, feeling how it moves the body. Check-in with yourself and see how you’re doing. You can return to this grounded mind-body union throughout the day.

2. Check Your Mind Reading

Thoughts about what others are thinking often drive our stress and anxiety, as we’re prone to imagine the worst:

  1. partner is quiet and we assume they’re mad at us.
  2. The audience looks sleepy and we think they hate our talk.
  3. We blush and then believe everyone thinks we’re stupid and awkward.

In cognitive-behavioral therapy, this thought pattern is called a “cognitive distortion” because most of the time others are thinking better of us than we fear if they’re thinking of us at all. Pick one time each day to notice when you’re mind reading, and ask yourself if it’s possible that the other person’s thoughts are more benign.

3. Go Outside at Lunchtime

Eat outside, take a short walk with a friend or co-worker, sit and watch the clouds—anything to spend a few minutes outdoors. Leave your phone inside and take in your surroundings, including things close and things far away. The fresh air and change of perspective will boost your spirits and reduce stress for longer than you might expect—at least until the end of the workday, as research has shown (Sianoja et al., 2018). If lunchtime isn’t feasible, choose another time that works for you.

4. Feel Water

Most of us touch water many times a day but rarely do we really feel it. Paying attention to the sensations of touching the water is a common part of mindfulness practices because it brings us into the moment with greater awareness. Choose one wet activity to really pay attention to being in the bath or shower, washing your hands, doing the dishes, or bathing your child. Feel the water as if you’ve never felt it before.

5. Celebrate Your Wins

Our minds are good at recalling our losses and disappointments, while our joys and victories are easily forgotten. As a result, it can seem like our days are mostly bad. Before you go to bed at night, write down three things that went well. Be specific—for example, “Made a great eggplant parmesan” rather than “Made a nice dinner”—so the memories are as vivid as possible. Pay special attention to wins where you clearly played a role, which strengthens your sense of self-efficacy.

6. Practice relaxation skills

Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as “Take it easy.” Yoga and meditation also are good tools to use to help you stay calm. When you’re taking care of yourself, it’s easier to deal with the challenges life throws your way.

7.Don’t hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.

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